This is Sherry, one of my older brother's very best friends for over 30 years, and how I remember her:
Photo courtesy of John Spadaro
For as long as I can remember, Sherry was my brother's friend, and she was one of the sweetest people in the world. Whenever Sherry called the house, she always took time to talk to me and never treated me like the annoying kid sister of her friend that I really was (I'm six years younger than my brother, which is a huge gap when the elder sibling is a teenager). Everyone who hung out in in my brother's crowd loved her, and my parents loved her too.
My brother and his friends grew up, as we all do, and while they were having careers, getting married, and raising families, they stayed in touch and remained close. Sherry got married too, and had four children with her husband. Sherry's kids range in age from the youngest who is 7 years old, to the oldest, who is 13. Sherry's family is well loved by their neighbors, known for organizing block parties and hosting play dates with other children from their neighborhood.
My brother and his wife came up to New York to see my mom and all of their old friends last month, and Sherry was among the group who came to hang out at my mother's house. Everyone was happy to spend that time together to reunite and reminisce. They did not know it at the time, but it was the last time that any of them would see Sherry alive again.
Just a few days later, on May 1st, when Sherry dropped her children off at school, none of them knew that they would never see their mom alive again, or what horror would await them when they returned home at the end of the school day. Sherry's 13 year old daughter got home first, and found that the front door to the house was locked, but the girl's father told her from the other side of the door that she needed to go get her siblings from school and bring them home. When the four children arrived at the house, the front door was still locked, but they gained entry to through a side door. The children found blood on the kitchen floor and a trail of it which led to the laundry room, which is where they discovered Sherry on the floor - she had been stabbed to death by her husband. There was a note near her body written to the children by their father telling them that both of their parents were "hurt" and that they should call the police. Sherry's husband was hanging himself in the couple's bedroom behind a locked door at the time that the children had come home upon this terrible scene; the police had to cut him down from the ceiling when they arrived and he died at the hospital.
Sherry's children are now orphans, and they will have to live with the horror of what happened forever. The kids are being cared for by relatives now, and a trust fund has been set up to help them. What has happened to these kids is beyond what anyone should ever have to endure. The relatives who are grieving for Sherry are now the guardians of four severely traumatized kids and will be dealing with the consequences of this real life nightmare for many years to come; you can help to at least alleviate one burden for them - money - by contributing any amount you can spare to the address below:
The Hayes Children Trust
P.O. Box 644
North Bellmore NY 11710
Please lift this family up in your prayers along with all of Sherry's friends who are mourning their beloved friend, and please help to spread the word about the trust fund to help Sherry's innocent children at this incredibly heart breaking and difficult time. Thank you.
Rest In Peace, Sherry. May God wrap his loving arms around your loved ones and give them comfort and strength.
"Sorry for the delay in responding, we’ve had email access issues.
CSHCS will not cover an ACD. We only cover medical care and treatment. I would contact local agencies in your area, such as Rotary, Lions, Knights of Columbus, etc. You could also contact Apple to see if they have a program that would assist you"
I received the above response to my request for help getting my son either an ACD (Assistance Communication Device) or an iPad to help him communicate from his insurance company. OK, I wasn't really surprised but I was still disappointed and it got me thinking. And when I get to thinking you know that I have to type it out.
As a person there is a simple plan to life. You are a child. You learn as you grow. You become a student. You get a job. You live life as best as you can. You fall in love if you are lucky. You get married (or not.) You have children (or not.) You grow older.
Along the way, life happens. You may be healthy, wealthy, and wise -or not. You may face this mountain and over come. There are elections, wars, peace time marches, stars that rise and fall, books to read, and job promotions to work for.
BUT when you are injured, sick or facing a disability who gets to decide on your life and its quality? And if you are a child who has that power? And if you are a poor child with a disability what will your future hold and in who's hands does it fall?
Here's My Thinking: America is full of programs that are said to help people that are in need. Some American's like that there are safety nets and others think we coddle people too much. I am a balance kind of person. I think we need to help others that want to help themselves and I realize that there are some who abuse the system. I also KNOW that there are some people who are stuck because there are few choices for them. Oh, and those safety nets? The have huge holes in them.
But when it comes to disabled kids, I have a very logical train of thought that seems to be lost on many. It is very, very, very simple math:
Disabled child + Early interventions + medical, therapeutic, and educational needs met = Highest Possible Function + Ability to work = Less Need for services as an adult = Less cost for Tax Payers
I don't understand why insurance companies, both private and public, would put up a fuss about paying for services and supplies that may bring the child (or anyone, for that matter) to a higher functioning place.
If you give a child a voice, then they can communicate, and we can really see what's going on inside their brain. Give a child the brace they need to walk and see how far they run. Why do we have to fight so hard for those little things? Because of money.
Because someone said that a voice for a child should cost thousands of dollars. (see used examples here) Is it the companies, the insurance folks, or what? I don't know or care. My son's braces that will be outgrown in less then a year cost over $2,000. I had to fight to get them. The doctor had to fight to get them. This isn't a luxury item we want but one to help him walk. I'm confused about the priorities of .... everyone... who thinks children shouldn't have that right.
We are under the constant fight to have another 3 months of therapy. I really don't get that one. If a child is becoming a better functioning human than that's good right???? Therapy is a great tool when used consistently.
Money? Is it really all about money? Because if it is then do the math again. Higher function means the child grows into a higher function adult that can do more for themselves and may not need as much or any help from programs that cost other people money. Simple.
If you don't help children when they are young then you risk having to help them in a higher fashion for all of their lives.They may not find work or will always need extra medical care because they didn't get the care as a child. They may cost society more because they end up in jail, homeless shelters, or mental health wards.
Of course there are those who think that if someone is damaged then that falls on their family or better yet they shouldn't have a life at all but I won't waste my keystrokes on them.
Quality life and money? Quality of life is not just "things" but about being able to be the best person that a person can be. It is being as high function as possible, being able to interact with others, it is about being able to find enjoyment in existing.
Money shouldn't be a qualifying factor on who should be able to reach for the stars but it often is. Money can mean better schooling or none at all. It means we eat or not. It means proper care or not.
Bottom Line: I want the best for my children. I don't want them to just survive but to reach for the stars with a smile. I don't want our bank account to be the reason they are stuck here on Earth or ... under it. Rowan should have his voice and I don't understand why an insurance company wouldn't want him to have it if it means he can someday stand on his own.
I am currently very ill with advanced late stage Lyme Disease and Ehrlichia, which is another tick borne illness. It is difficult for people who suffer from these debilitating afflictions to get proper diagnosis and treatment because the medical community at large mostly stands in their way by denying that these illnesses even exist, and they are compelled to do it because of money and intimidation. I wrote a post at my main blog explaining how the cover-up is run, but because it's a political blog, I also tied it into how it relates to current events, however, the stuff about Lyme can stand on it's own so I am posting a segment of my piece below for the people who need to know about what is happening to thousands of people in this country but I am leaving off the second portion of that post so as not to offend those who are of a different political opinion than myself. You can read the piece in it's entirety HERE if you are interested. Here is the segment that focuses on the Lyme Disease cover-up:
Imagine that people who are ill with Cancer or AIDS are misdiagnosed and are left untreated for their Cancer or AIDS while desperately going from doctor to doctor to try to find out why they are so sick, only to be repeatedly told over a period of many months or even years that they have illnesses which nobody really knows anything about or that they are hypochondriacs (and instead of any attempt to treat their illnesses, they are given antidepressants and told that it will make them feel better because it's really just depression that is making them miserable, although it is more likely that being sick and untreated is actually what may be making them depressed!), before it is finally discovered that what has been making them sick is actually Cancer or AIDS and not a "mystery" or psychosomatic illness as they had been previously told. Now imagine that these people who have finally been diagnosed with Cancer or AIDS are given just 3 weeks of treatment with medication and then pronounced "cured" with no further testing and no further medical intervention whatsoever, despite there being no proof that the 3 weeks of treatment has eradicated the Cancer or AIDS from their bodies. When these Cancer or AIDS victims continue to exhibit symptoms of their diseases, months and even years later, they are told that they must be suffering from something else because their cancer or AIDS was "cured" with those few weeks of initial treatment; they are refused further treatment and denied further testing to see if the disease is still active in their bodies or if the disease has returned after having been "cured". When their symptoms continue to persist and worsen, they are told that they are hypochondriacs, put on anti-depressants, and advised to seek psychotherapy because they have been "cured" with those few weeks of initial treatment and it is impossible to still be sick or to become sick again, so they must be imagining their symptoms, and they are continually denied any further medical intervention or new diagnostic tests even though there exists much evidence which indicates that these diseases often are NOT cured with a simple short term one-size-fits-all cookie cutter treatment and that these people CAN improve with long term medication. This is what happens to people with Lyme Disease (and related Tick Borne Diseases) and few notice or even care - what do you think would happen if this were the standard protocol for people suffering from Cancer and AIDS? Via Lyme Aware:
Sooner or later, everyone will be touched by Lyme...
“What is happening to the Lyme nation is similar to what I witnessed at the beginning of the HIV epidemic in the 80’s…there was complacency for that… disease….became personal and real because it got closer…..sooner or later everyone was touched and the same thing is happening with Lyme disease…” He goes on to say, “That the American public deserves to hear the truth”. He continues to discuss the disgrace of a few in the Infectious Disease Society of America who are an embarrassment to the medical society. Continuing on to state that they have vilified those in the Lyme community…
We're in the midst of a terrifying epidemic, although you wouldn't know it to talk to most doctors and health specialists. The disease is growing at a rate faster than AIDS. From 2006 to 2008 alone, the number of cases jumped a whopping 77 percent. In 2008 alone, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention listed 28,921 "confirmed" and 6,277 "probable" cases of the disease, but there could be as many as 420,000 because of underreporting. Prominent victims include Parker Posey, Richard Gere, President George W. Bush, Alice Walker and Christie Brinkley. If any other disease had stricken so many people, the medical community would be scurrying for knowledge, scrambling for cures or rushing to warn patients (think swine flu). But that's not the case with Lyme disease -- a disease carried by ticks. Instead, ill-informed doctors are often flummoxed when patients complain of fatigue, headaches, fever or chills, muscle or joint pain, mental confusion, swollen lymph nodes and neurological symptoms. It's an appalling display of indifference. *** Unfortunately, many victims of this poppy-seed-sized predator spend months or years without effective treatment, because perplexed doctors wrongly diagnose chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, lupus, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, arthritis or psychiatric disorders. It took "The Joy Luck Club" author Amy Tan many years, numerous doctors and her own sleuthing before she was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease. RTWT
The medical community at large creates the biggest barrier for the effective diagnosis and treatment of Lyme Disease, as innocent people suffer and the handful of doctors who try to help them literally risk everything to do so. Via LymeBook.com:
The Infectious Disease Society of America (IDSA), which is generally recognized as the authority on topics relating to infectious diseases (including Lyme Disease), does not recognize that chronic Lyme Disease is caused by an active bacterial infection. On the other side of the debate reside thousands of Lyme Disease patients and physicians who believe that chronic Lyme Disease is in fact caused by the persistent presence of an active infection. IDSA guidelines generally determine Centers for Disease Control (CDC) guidelines, and CDC guidelines generally determine what is and is not accepted practice for licensed physicians. Hence, because the IDSA does not recognize chronic Lyme Disease as a real medical condition, neither do the majority of physicians in the United States. Before moving on, let’s clarify what the debate is actually about. The IDSA does not deny the existence of Lyme Disease itself — the organization recognizes Lyme Disease as a significant bacterial infection. What the IDSA disagrees with is the position that active Lyme Disease bacteria can persist inside the human body after a standard course of antibiotics is administered. IDSA acknowledges Lyme Disease, and understands that it is dangerous, but the organization takes the stance that the disease always goes away after it is treated with a few weeks of antibiotics. The IDSA does recognize a syndrome in which people who have suffered from Lyme Disease experience ongoing symptoms after antibiotic therapy. However, according to the IDSA, this syndrome (which they refer to as "post-Lyme syndrome") is not caused by infection with Lyme Disease bacteria, but instead, psychosomatic factors such as hypochondria and laziness. For people suffering with chronic Lyme Disease, IDSA guidelines can be devastating. Yes, the IDSA does recognize "post-Lyme syndrome," but only as a psychosomatic disorder—not as an active bacterial infection. Why does it matter whether or not the IDSA believes chronic Lyme Disease is caused by active bacteria or paranoia? Actually, it matters a lot. Although the IDSA does recognize post-Lyme syndrome, their stance on the cause of the disease makes the difference between Lyme Disease sufferers being vindicated and receiving the treatment they need, or being ridiculed and denied appropriate treatment. Current IDSA guidelines stipulate that doctors should treat chronic Lyme Disease with psychological counseling, and if that does not work, doctors should simply throw patients out of the office and tell them they are crazy. When doctors attempt to treat a raging bacterial infection as if it were paranoia or a character flaw, the result is a large number of very sick patients being talked at instead of disinfected. Additionally, treating chronic Lyme Disease as a psychological problem also results in the ridiculing and disparaging of Lyme patients when the therapy doesn't work and symptoms persist. On the other hand, if chronic Lyme Disease is treated appropriately with antibacterial therapies, patients will actually get better, get support in areas that matter (emotional, insurance coverage, and understanding from employers and family members), and get compassion during ongoing sickness. So, as you can see, the question of the cause of chronic Lyme Disease is of critical importance to those suffering from the condition. MORE HERE
People who are suffering from advanced Late Stage Lyme Disease (also called Chronic Lyme Disease) and the Lyme-Literate Doctors (LLMDs) who work to help them are openly and publiclymocked and ridiculed by supposed infectious disease "experts" who would be better named as "Doctors of Denial". These doctors must have had their fingers crossed behind their backs when they took the Hippocratic Oath's vow to "First do no harm". Obtaining appropriate medical treatment for serious, debilitating and potentially life threatening disease should not be a political issue, butit is. In the documentary film Under Our Skin, it is illustrated in great detail how members of the IDSA benefit financially by denying the existence of persistent infection from Lyme Disease and related tick borne pathogens, you can view a free version of it HERE. Heather Callaghan provides a great write up about this issue, at the Activist Post , which explains the conflicts of interest, cronyism, and pocket-lining that motivates the IDSA's Lyme cover-up:
In 1980, the government started allowing patents on living organisms such as pathogens. Perfect timing for scientists to make a mad dash for parts of newly-discovered Lyme and keep the information locked away to protect future profits. These so-called experts continue to research Lyme disease with federal funds, then start private firms and obtain patents. They write guidelines for insurance companies and HMOs so that the disease doesn’t exist (yet) or require coverage. Not only do Lyme victims spend hundreds of thousands for medical treatment, but they can’t be covered for Lyme! The Biggest Blow In The Lyme Cover-up The Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA), made up of a board of doctors, created within themselves an authority to write the rule book on all things Lyme. It is the absolute bane of both the Lyme community and conscientious doctors everywhere. They are the ones who decided that there is no such affliction as chronic Lyme, that it’s easy to treat and cure, and will be cured within two weeks of oral antibiotics or else the patient has another infirmity. Doctors must follow their diagnosis and treatment guidelines or face punishment from state medical boards. Patients’ proof of cure never sways the boards – doctors broke the rules. Out of the 400 references listed in the back of the guidelines, over half of them are directed at articles that they and their teams wrote. They have closed the door on any outside alternative medical research. In turn, these are the very guidelines insurance companies consult to deny medical treatment coverage. The majority of complaints that lead to doctors’ suspensions come from insurance companies, not from patients or other physicians. The insurance companies wish to rid doctors who cost them the most. The unholy trinity of insurance companies, Lyme guidelines written by establishment insiders, and Big Pharma corporate control, restricts consumer choice in medical care and extorts these patients. While the IDSA acknowledges post-Lyme syndrome, they audaciously attribute it to the “aches and pains of daily living,” and that poor treatment results are due to prior traumatic stress. Are they really that dumb? No, but they are cold blooded and know exactly the nature of the disease and the destructive human toll that it often takes. They should know…after all, they have a lot invested in it…Busted On The Money Trail! Connecticut Attorney General, Richard Blumenthal, investigated the ISDA panel members for possible violation of antitrust laws and conflicts of interest. Of the 14 panel authors of the first edition guidelines, 6 of them or their universities held patents on Lyme or its co-infections, 4 received funding from Lyme or co-infection test kit manufacturers, 4 were paid by insurance companies to write Lyme policy guidelines or consult in Lyme legal cases, and 9 received money from Lyme disease vaccine manufacturers. Some of the authors were involved in more than one conflict of interest. So why are guideline authorities taking money from companies who have a direct interest in specific outcomes? MUCH MORE HERE
Here is a short video which explains the very real conspiracy surrounding the "controversy" over chronic Lyme:
On Friday April 13, 2012, the Dr. Phil Show aired an episode that had a segment about Late Stage Lyme Disease which features the stories of three women who have been afflicted, and the "controversy" involved with treating them. Here are the clips (H/T Lyme Aware): Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
After the show, Dr. Phil acknowledged the politics involved that interfere with the ability of doctors and patients to deal with Lyme and related diseases effectively, here's the clip of that discussion:
At the heart of the whole "controversy" raging over Lyme and related diseases lies an issue that all Americans need to be aware of: Medical Freedom - the Lyme Community does not have enough of it, and all Americans (with the exception of the very wealthy and politically connected elite) are at risk of losing theirs as well if our country does not alter the current course that it is on. Via Lymenaide:
“Unless we put medical freedom into the Constitution, the time will come when medicine will organize into an undercover dictatorship to restrict the art of healing to one class of Men and deny equal privileges to others; the Constitution of the Republic should make a special privilege for medical freedoms as well as religious freedom.” — Benjamin Rush, M.D. (circa 1787) Benjamin Rush (1745-1813) was a colonial physician known as the “Father of American Medicine.” He signed the Declaration of Independence, served as the Surgeon General of the Continental Army, and opened the first free medical clinic at the Pennsylvania Hospital. (1) Do you think old Ben Rush is sitting somewhere looking down on us with George Washington and Thomas Jefferson saying, “I told you so.”? RTR
Doctors should be able to make their diagnoses and treatment decisions based on scientific and clinical evidence but, increasingly, they are not the ones who get to make the call about what diagnosis and treatment a patient may receive.
You can read the rest of this post at my main blog, HERE.
You can learn about how I finally discovered what has had me sick and in pain for so long HERE. Lyme specialists are difficult to find and treatment is expensive. You can help me in my own fight to save my life by hitting the Tip Jar or placing a Zillathon widget on your blog if you have one.
Right now I'm having a contest on my blog. Don't be shy, head on over. The rules are super simple. Just follow my blog and leave a creative comment. Sucking up does count!
What do you remember most about yesterday, last week, a year ago? What about the people you consider important, both in the positive and negative ways? What moments do you hold on to and which float away to distant places in the corners of you mind? Life is full of things we would like to forget but too often it is that stuff that is the most shaping.
As you may have noticed, there are some new ads here. That's because I've just joined the LinkShare Referral Program which allows me to earn commissions from sales generated by ads that I put up at my blogs. I like it because I get to choose the companies that I want to do business with and also pick the ads that I want to put up and where I want to put them on my blogs. If you have a website or a blog, you can do it too, just click the link above or the box at the bottom of this post to sign up - it's free to join!
She watched from her spot in the sun as the children ran around the yard. They played like they had not a care in the world. The boy was but 3 years old and had to use his monster roar to catch the older children. The twins were 8 and knew everything about everything. What they didn't know they made up with colors that put the brightest of rainbows to shame.
She watched their father who watched them from across the yard. He sat in the shade of the old tree that had stood proud through out his life and that of his father before him. He smiled the small smile of a man with too much weight on his shoulders but love to overcome it all.
This is a little project that I've been wanting to do for a long time, and now that readership is at an all time high at my Zilla blog, I thought this might be the perfect time to do it. I've put together a huge round-up Smörgåsbord with servings from the blogs of each and every one of my blog-sisters who also write at Stone Soup and Potluck.
"Take a moment to consider what is TRUE wealth to you... have you been going after something that doesn't really feel like it would satisfy anyway? It's a good check in with yourself to ask... "If I got what I'm going after, would I have what I really want?" If not, a course correction is ALWAYS a Be Who You Are option!" Robin Rice's Be Who You Are
I am living below the poverty line. I tend to have barely enough but I would be content with just enough. Bills go unpaid, I don't own a fancy car or television, and I own a house in the hood of Detroit.... But I am rich and you can be too. Want to know my secret????
I want you all to acquaint yourself with a wonderful little boy named Rowan, he is the youngest child of our Tlchimes who writes here at the soup. I love that kid, he is absolutely amazing and every single day he does something incredible - he lives, and he proves all the "smart people" wrong.
If you follow this blog, you know that my kids and I did a fun free project recently, we converted an old fish tank into a terrarium using stuff we had on hand & plants we dug up from the yard. Of course, I should have done some research first, and as my friend Ute pointed out in the comments, the thing needed drainage - which I'd neglected to plan for. After a few days, some plants started growing fuzzy white mold on them which made them sick. Luckily, my daughter's plants weren't effected. just the ones we'd dug up from the yard.
